Rachel Green Quotes
Monica: Do you guys ever think Alan might be a little too Alan.
Rachel: No, you can never be too Alan.
Ross: It's his innate Alan-ness that we adore.
Chandler: I could personally stand about a gallon of Alan.
Ross: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?
Phoebe: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said "We should do this again!"
All: Oh. Ouch.
Rachel: What? He said "We should do it again," that's good, right?
Monica: Uh, no. Loosely translated "We should do this again" means "You will never see me naked."
Rachel: Since when?
Joey: Since always. It's like dating language. Ya know, like, "It's not you" means "It is you."
Chandler: Or "You're such a nice guy" means "I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you."
Phoebe: Or, or, ya know, um, "I think we should see other people" means "Ha, ha, I already am."
Monica: I'm gonna go. I have a date.
Rachel: With Alan again? How's it going?
Monica: It's going pretty good. It's nice and we're having fun.
Joey: When do we get to meet the guy?
Monica: Let's see, today's Monday... Never.
Phoebe: (Reading a letter) "Dear Ms. Buffay, Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this football phone as our free gift." Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!
Rachel: What bank is this?
All: (About Chandler smoking) Hey, come on, put it out.
Rachel: It's worse than the thumb.
Chandler: Hey, this is so unfair.
Monica: Why is it unfair?
Chandler: So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle cracking isn't annoying? And Ross with his over pronouncing every single word, and Monica with that snort when she laughs... I mean what the hell is that thing? I accept all those flaws why can't you accept me for this?
(Pause)
Joey: Does the knuckle cracking bother everybody or just him?
Rachel: Well, I would live without it.
Joey: Is it like, a little annoying or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?
(Phoebe takes her hair out of her mouth.)
Ross: Don't listen to them Pheebs, I think it's endearing.
Joey: Oh you do, do you?
(Monica snorts loudly.)
Ross: There's nothing wrong with speaking correctly.
Rachel: Indeed there isn't. (Ross looks at Rachel) I should really be getting back to work.
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered.
Rachel: Oh, the hair comes out and the gloves come off.
(They all start shouting at each other, while Chandler walks away smoking happily.)
Barry: I really wanted to thank you.
Rachel: Okay.
Barry: See, about a month ago I wanted to hurt you. More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist.
(On phone) Hi Mindy. Hi it's Rachel. Yeah, fine. I saw Barry today. Uh, yeah, yeah, he told me. No, well it's okay. Really. It's okay, really. I hope you two are very happy. I really do, and well Min, ya know, if everything works out and you guys end up getting married and having kids and everything... I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose.
Monica: What you guys don't understand is that kissing is more important than any other part of it for us.
Joey: Yeah, right. (They all stare at him) You're serious?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
Rachel: Everything that you need to know is in that first kiss.
Monica: Absolutely.
Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is an opening act, you know, like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.
Ross: Yeah, yeah. And it's not like that we don't like the comedian. It's just that that's not why we bought the ticket.
Chandler: You see, the problem is though, after the concert over, no matter how great the show was you girls are always looking for the comedian again. You know, and we're in the car, fighting traffic, basically just trying to stay awake.
Rachel: Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home listening to that album alone. (High-fives Monica)
Joey: Are we still talking about sex?
Rachel: (With a worried look, thinking she has lost her ring) Has anybody seen my engagement ring?
Phoebe: Yeah. It's beautiful.
Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him. "Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!" Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder.
All: (About Rachel trying to cut up her credit cards) Cut, cut, cut, cut.
Rachel: (Cuts up one card) You know what? I think we can leave it at that. It was kind of a symbolic gesture...
Monica: Rachel, that was a library card.
(On the phone with her dad) Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait, wait, I said "maybe!"
