Popular Sam Oliver Quotes
Ted: I see a spark of the old me in you, Sam.
Sam: Please don't tell me that
Sam: You stole mail?
Sock: Yeah.
Ben: Sock, that's a felony.
Sock: Well, come on now, there's a fine line between committing a felony and doing something really cool.
Ben: That's true
Sock: The password is "Grumpy."
Sam: I don't want to know.
Sock: The cat that we had, you sicko... No, I'm kidding, it's totally a name for my junk
Sam: Give me the vessel.
Devil: No, no, no, no. I do not like this tone at all. What's the problem?
Sam: Ted wants to promote me to assistant manager of the plumbing department.
Devil: Promotion? Well, congratulations! Make sure you get the 401(k).
Sam: No, no, don't congratulate me. He's saying that I'm going to spend the rest of my life here at the Work Bench.
Devil: You know, I don't get you, Sammy. You don't want to work here at this place, you don't want to work for me. What exactly do you want?
Sam: Just something that doesn't suck.
Devil: Well, one of these days, maybe you'll come up with a little better plan than that, huh?
Sam: Give me a bite of that. No, no, I need you to feed it to me.
Sock: What?
Sam: I'm starving, okay? Everything I put in my mouth ends up covered in bugs.
Sock: Oh nice. So bugs, huh? You think that's the work of, uh, El Diablo?
Sam: It must be. Time to collect a soul that's escaped from hell. I just wish the Devil would do it in a less disgusting way
Sam: What is wrong with you?
Ben: My dad is super allergic... You know... I couldn't have any pets so this little guy fills that void.
Sock: You said I filled that void, Ben
Devil: Forget about the contract.
Sam: No, no. I wanna see it.
Devil: But why?
Sam: Because I wanna know my rights.
Devil: Oh, that's easy. You don't have any
Sam: We are not machines, we are not robots.
Sock: Be cooler if we were robots.
Sam: Yeah.
Sock: You know who I'd be if I were a robot?
Sam: Who?
Sock: The hot chick from Terminator 3. First I would tear this building down brick by brick, then I would go home, lock myself in the bedroom, and stare at my boobs for as long as I wanted.
Sam: Yeah.
Sock: Which would be a long time
Ben: Nobody's hurting Winston.
Sam: Who's Winston?
Ben: The bird.
Sam: You... named the vessel?
Sock: Dude, Winston is not a bird's name, Ben.
Ben: Okay, well you tell me what a bird's name is.
Sock: I don't know, uh, how about Flappy? Or Paul
You put the contract for my soul with my third-grade report card and Mr. Huggles?
Sock: All right, listen to me. I'm not advocating violence here. But if you need to... uh... "take care of Greg," I know some people.
Sam: Yeah, I know the Devil. I think my people trump your people.
Sock: Yeah... Oh, yeah
Sam [about the vessels]: Wait. So, they're not all little vacuums?
DMV Demon: The boss gives you the vessel he thinks you can handle. You must be a real moron
