Glee
Fridays 8:00 PM on FOXPopular Santana Quotes
Santana: You're acting like a completely different person and it's making me sad.
Brittany: Well get over it because sadness is stupid.
Rachel, that's Gunther. [whispers] Don't tell him if you're Jewish or black.
[to Rachel] Okay, no, come on. You are not playing Yenta the lesbian matchmaker.
I mean, if you're producing that much yeast you should probably start a bakery.
Isn't it amazing how life seems so easy when you just don't give a fart? I mean look at this. Hummel is getting married. Berry is just full of confidence. And I finally have a girlfriend who I don't have to worry about straying for penis.
Santana: You wanted that memorial gone because you're such a cold-hearted bitch.
Sue: What did you just call me?
Santana: A miserable, self-centered bitch who has spent every waking minute of the past three years trying to make our lives miserable. I'm officially over it.
Sue: I don't care for your attitude.
Santana: Well I don't give a hot wet monkey's ass what you care for.
Okay, I know that Finn had his doubts about God, but I am convinced that Squishyteets is up in Heaven right now, plopped down next to his new best friend Fat Elvis, helping themselves to a picnic of baby back ribs smothered in butterscotch pudding and tater tot grease. So, this is for you, Hudson.
Santana: He was a much better person than I am.
Kurt: That is true. But Finn really cared about you. And I don't think he would've done all those things if he didn't think you were decent, too.
[to Starchild] Would you mind just stepping outside for a moment while I bitch slap some sense into my friend.
Kurt: Are we all set in there?
Santana: If by all set do you mean did I light the candy cane scented candles on the toilet, then yes, we're all set.
So, uh, you got any tricks in that bag, Santa?
