Sock Quotes
Sam: How did you find me?
Sock: We followed you, Sam. Ben drove here with his headlights off the entire time.
Ben: It was very stressful
Ben: The Devil has a child. You know, I never thought the Devil had genitals.
Sock: What, like a Ken doll?
Sock: This Satan's trying to get you to hook you up with his daughter, you know, I bet she wants your man seed.
Sam: What? No.
Sock: Yeah, sure, think about it. You knock her up, right, the Devil has a little Sam baby running around catching souls for him when he grows up. After, you know, you kick. [Sam glares] Which I hope will not be for a very long time
Sock: We got presents! Look. Bought your grandmother a book. It's in Spanish.
Ben: It's French.
Sock: What? Oh. Well, you know, it's never too late to learn a new language
No, no, nothing is impossible. Illegal, yeah, stupid, most definitely, but not impossible
Oh man, the Devil and I have the exact same taste in women. Is she really flexible, too?
Sock: I get it, I know what you're doing. You're acting like a chick.
Sam: Shut... shut up!
Sock: Oh, no, I will not shut up. You are acting like a chick and she is acting like a dude. That is so sad, Sam. I don't know whether to hug you or kill you out of mercy
She's acting like a dude. You know, anything gets too emotional or too hard, you just ignore it, right? Eventually it'll go away. Which makes Andi even more perfect, if that's possible. [Sam glares] Except for the part where she ripped your heart out and stomped on it. That was rude and lame
Andi: You guy must have done something enormously horrendous to get food court duty.
Sock: Oh, yeah. Some idiot posted a picture and profile of Ted on a bi-curious website. He totally blamed us.
Andi: Huh. You do it?
Ben: Of course.
Andi: Nice
Sock: You know, if I was the Dark Lord, I would do the exact same thing. I'd have a mistress in every continent on the planet.
Sam: He probably does.
Sock: He probably does, doesn't he?
Sam: Mm-hmm.
Sock: God he's living the dream. I want to be the Prince of Darkness. No, uh, no, what's below Prince?
Ben: Uh, Duke.
Sock: Duke. I want to be the Duke of Darkness. Maybe could you talk to him for me, set up a little internship, or...?
Sam: No.
Sock: Not even a chance?
Sam: No
Sock [about Andi]: You need to ask her out again, and again, and again. All right? You need to be persistent, like the ocean. Little waves of Sam crashing on the shores of Andi until she gradually wears down.
Sam: Or she gets a restraining order
So what now, boys? Mom's still in Vegas, I got the car for another two days, I say we pour a bottle of tequila in my face
