Venture Brothers
Sundays 11:30 PM on Cartoon NetworkThe Monarch Quotes
Dr. Orpheus: Hug me!
Monarch: Fine. Whatever gets you off, man. Just don't go for the reach-around, because the Monarch doesn't swing that way.
Dr. Orpheus: Sleep!!
The Monarch: Tears!? Come on! You know that sick deformed freak! You know he was pounding his invisible meat!
Dr. Venture: Your honor, I have children here! I don't want them listening to this potty talk!
Judge: Order! I want that comment struck from the record. And my mind
Tiny Attorney: So... mind-reader... fascinating, could you read the mind of... say for instance... The Monarch?
Dr. Orpheus: If it would please the court.
The Monarch: Objection, no way!
Judge: This is most unorthodox.
Dr. Venture: Unorthodox! The defendant is in a crown for God's sake
Monarch: Hey! Let's move the Monarch Mobile to the other side of the lot. It'll totally screw with the henchmen's heads!
Dr. Girlfriend: I have never seen this side of you.
Monarch: Look over there. It's the Bearded Spectre. Oh my god, look what he's got on...
Dr. Girlfriend: Are those giant shorts or tiny pants?
What can I do to [Dr. Venture] that life hasn't done to him already?
Here I am in the belly of the beast, and I don't even care. I don't even feel like taking a whiz on this. I used to dream of taking a whiz on this
Dr. Girlfriend: Hey is that the guy from Depeche Mode?
Monarch: It is the guy from Depeche Mode. He's with a woman?
Dr. Girlfriend: Oh yeah, he's totally straight. I saw a story about him on the VH1.
Monarch: But he's the guy from Depeche Mode!
I'm not going to flush. Let them see the wrath of the Monarch!
Henchman 21: Here is where you are wrong, my friend. This woman has killed before.
Henchman 24: Allegedly.
Henchman 21: Okay, whatever. But she was a big girl. We are talking about a large, healthy woman of questionable stability.
Henchman 24: Oh, you are totally underestimating the never-say-die scrappiness of a survivor.
Monarch: Hey, guess what? Nobody cares who would win in a crazy fantasy fist-fight between Anne Frank and Lizzy Borden. We never should have brought the henchmen! We're going to be the only ones there with henchmen! I'm gonna have to kill them. Pull over if you see a good spot to dump their bodies!
Hank: Hey, I had to sleep in my clothes. Now I feel gross wearing them two days in a row!
Monarch: You're kidding me, right? That's the only outfit I've never seen you in!
Hank: Well that doesn't mean I never wash it.
Monarch: Fair enough
Brock: Do you have nothing else to do but harp on Dr. Venture? Why don't you try the world domination thing. You afraid of the big leagues?
Monarch: Pleeaasse. Do I look stupid to you? World domination - I'll leave that to the religious nuts and the Republicans, thank you
