Tony: I had a dream I fucked your brains out. Right on that desk, and you loved it.
Dr. Melfi: Well, you threw that at me like a rock.

Dr. Melfi: So who's your friend? Pussy?
Tony: I'm confused.
Dr. Melfi: Is Pussy your friend?
Tony: Yeah.
Dr. Melfi: But that's the friend who was almost carried off by the ducks, right?
Tony: When you say pussy do you mean my friend Pussy or do you mean pussy?
Dr. Melfi: Whatever seems to be dominating your thoughts.
Tony: I got pussy on the brain. I always do.

Tony: How many jobs have you had in this lifetime?
Janice: Enough to know I don't want another one.

(Tony mentions he's breaking it off with Irina)
Dr. Melfi: I'm interested in why you're ending it.
Tony: What do you mean why? Isn't that what I'm supposed to do? Aren't you telling me that all the time in here?
Dr. Melfi: I don't think I've ever passed judgment on your sex life or any patient's sex life.

Carmela: What the hell happened over there?
Tony: Janice decided to go back to Seattle.
Carmela: You're kidding. What about Richie? He must be devastated.
Tony: Richie's gone.
Carmela: What do you mean gone?
Tony: Gone.
Carmela: Where?
Tony: Carmela, after 18 years of marriage, don't make me make you an accessory after the fact.
Carmela: An accessory after the...(realizes) Holy shit!

Tony: What is that?
Irina: Chicken Soup for the Soul.
Tony: You should read Tomato Sauce for your Ass. It's the Italian version.

Janice: What did you do with...[Richie's body]?
Tony: (deadpan) We buried him... on a hill... overlooking a little river... with pine cones all around.
Janice: You did?
Tony: (irritated) Come on, Janice! What the fuck do you care what we did with him?

Tony: See obviously, Richie, you're fucking deaf, I told you ten times, then I find out you're still dealing blow on those garbage routes.
Richie: For that I'm losing a fucking bid?
Tony: Next time you'll find yourself in the back of one of your trucks.

(to Richie) Those who want respect, give respect.

(to Richie) I fuckin' hate the way you make me ride you!

Tony: You know we're the only country where the pursuit of happiness is guaranteed in writing? Do you believe that? A bunch of fucking spoiled brats. Where's my happiness then?
Dr. Melfi: It's the pursuit that's guaranteed.
Tony: Yeah, always a fucking loophole.

Dr. Melfi: Some people take pleasure in the simple doing of things.
Tony: The things I take pleasure in, I can't do.

The Sopranos Quotes

Junior: A Chinaman goes to see the eye doctor. After the exam the doctor said, "I know why you're having trouble." The Chinaman says, "why?" Doctor said, "you have a cataract." Chinaman says, "no, I have a Rincoln Continental." (short pause) You don't get it?
Bobby: I get it. He drives a Lincoln Continental. What?

You heard about the Chinese godfather? He made them an offer they couldn't understand.

Junior