Tony Soprano Quotes
(to AJ on Carmela) She knows that even if God is dead, you're still going to kiss his ass.
Tony: (on AJ) He tells me he's got no purpose.
Dr. Melfi: And how did you answer him?
Tony: I told him that it costs 150 grand to bring him up so far, so if he's got no purpose I want a fucking refund.
A.J.: There is no God.
Carmela and Tony: Hey!!
Carmela: You stole my car? Where is the trust in this house?
AJ: When I get confirmed I'm going to be a man. So how come I can't drive?
Tony: You really want to get into this? Who was that man we had to pick up at camp last year for bed wetting?
Well, when you're married you'll understand the importance of fresh produce.
Dr. Melfi: It sounds to me like Anthony Jr. may have stumbled onto existentialism.
Tony: Fucking Internet.
Carmela: You could have killed those girls.
A.J.: Now that would have been interesting.
Carmela: What? What did you just say?
A.J.: Death just shows the ultimate absurdity of life.
Tony: What is this? Are you trying to get me to lose my temper? Cause I'm about to put you through that Goddamn window.
A.J.: See? That's what I mean. Life is absurd.
Carmela: Don't say that! God forgive you.
A.J.: There is no God.
(to Junior upon hearing that he had another uncle) I remember my mother and my father arguing about something and she kept talking about my father's feeble minded brother and I always thought she meant you.
Dr. Melfi: Do you want to tell me what you're thinking?
Tony: Believe me you don't want to know. You want to know what I'm thinkin'. Seriously. I'm thinking I'd like to take a brick and smash your fucking face into fucking hamburger.
Dr. Melfi: Do you think making hamburger out of me would make you feel better?
Tony: Mother of Christ. Is this a woman thing? You ask me how I'm feeling. I tell you how I'm feeling and now you're going to torture me with it.
Dr. Melfi: Now that you found out that you have a retarded family member, do you feel better about coming here?
Tony: What?
Dr. Melfi: Is it permissable now? Is it enough of a sad tragedy that you can join the rest of the douchebags?
(to Richie) There are men in the can, better lookin' than my sister.
(to AJ after he throws a phone) Forgot to tell you I got a job at Radio Shack. Product testing. Giving that phone a F for durability.
