Hi God. First off, I am sorry I only contact you lately when I am on a flight with really bad turbulence, but I need your help right now. I would like you to know that I never did jokes about priest molestation during that whole thing. Although, a lot of comedians did and I totally could have. God, please do not let my mom find out that I lied about church. If you do this for me I promise I will donate a lot of money to charity when I become a big successful comedian. Which while we are talking, is something I would also like very much. Thank you. Send.

Mulaney