Josh: What happened?
Bartender: I slipped on your dick, then it flew in the air and I landed on my back and I guess my mouth was open because it fell right in my mouth! And then I spat it out and, well, long story short, it's in the toilet.
Josh: It's in the toilet? Oh man, can you please fish it out for me?

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Man Seeking Woman Season 1 Episode 3: "Pitbull"
Man Seeking Woman
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Man Seeking Woman Season 1 Episode 3 Quotes, Man Seeking Woman Quotes
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Man Seeking Woman Season 1 Episode 3 Quotes

Josh: How is it so easy for you to talk to these girls? What's your secret?
Mike: Dude. There's no secret. All you gotta do is find a girl, walk up to her, say hi, do spiral eyes, ask her her name, maybe buy her a drink...

Josh, the only way you're gonna 69 with some flat-chested skanks is if you go to the bar and talk to them.