I’ve been watching you my entire life, and you know what I see? I think you are a sad little hermit who is terrified of human intimacy. And you use your cat, aka me, as an excuse to stay in Friday nights instead of finding a real relationship. It’s sad, and I don’t like watching it. And you take me, a cat, to an island to validate your delusion that you’re not wasting your life, which you are.

Baron BoBo