Miriam, I have done a lot for you over the years. I jumped onto a subway track to retrieve your third favorite hat. I came to your apartment at four a.m. to kill a cockroach -- turned out to be a raisin. I’ve euthanized three of your elderly pets. I wrung out your wet bras on hotel terraces. I wrestled a Turkish police officer to the ground. I kept Ethel Merman away from you!

Susie Myerson