Evie: Stan! I'm so glad to see you! You know, earlier tonight, I met a man named Fart.
Stan: Woman, have you seen yourself?
Evie: Oh no, I can't. I don't have a reflection anymore. But seriously. Who would name their baby Fart?

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Stan Against Evil Season 3 Episode 6: "Vampire Creek"
Stan Against Evil
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Stan Against Evil Season 3 Episode 6 Quotes

I knew it. Thirty-two years old and she thinks she can stay out all night. Kids these days. No wonder we can't win a war.


Stan: What are you guys watchin'? A goddamned asshole show?
Evie: Vampire Creek.
Denise: It's a show about sexy teen vampires.
Stan: They live in a creek?
Denise: No. It's the name of the town.
Stan: Oh, no. You wanna see a sexy vampire, you gotta, you gotta watch those Hammer films with Ingrid Pit, that British chick with good teeth and a coupla horn-honkin' milk jugs. Oh, I gotta tell ya ... What?