Cordelia: You're going to be one busy little slayer, babysitting them.
Buffy: I doubt they'll have any more trouble.
Cordelia: Amy is a witch. And Michael is whatever the boy version of "witch" is, plus being the poster child for yuck.
Buffy: Cord...
Cordelia: I doubt your doubt. Everyone knows that witches killed those kids. And if you hang with them, expect badness, 'cause that's what you get when you hang with freaks and losers. Believe me, I know. That was a pointed comment about me hanging with you guys.

Giles: There is a fringe theory held by a few folklorists that some regional stories have actual very literal antecedents.
Buffy: And in some language that's English?
Oz: Fairy tales are real.
Buffy: Hans and Gre- Hansel and Gretel?
Xander: Wait, Hansel and Gretel? Bread crumbs, ovens, gingerbread house?
Giles: Of course, it makes sense now.
Buffy: Yeah, it's all falling into place. Of course that place is nowhere near this place.
Giles: Some demons thrive by fostering hatred and, uh, persecution amongst the mortal animals. Not by destroying men but by watching men destroy each other. Now, they feed us our darkest fear and turn peaceful communities into vigilantes.
Buffy: Hansel and Gretel run home to tell everyone about the mean old witch.
Giles: And then she and, probably, dozens of others are persecuted by a righteous mob. It's happened all throughout history, happened in Salem, not surprisingly.

This is not a good town. How many of us have lost someone who just disappeared ... or got skinned or suffered neck rupture? And, how many of us have been too afraid to speak out? I was supposed to lead us in a moment of silence, but silence is this town's disease. For too long we've been plagued by unnatural evils. This isn't our town anymore. It belongs to the monsters, and the witches, and the slayers.


Giles: We need to save Buffy from Hansel and Gretel.
Cordelia: Now, let's be clear, the brain damage happened before I hit you.

Willow: I worship Beelzebub. I do his biddings. Do you see any goats around? No, because I sacrificed them.
Sheila: Willow, please.
Willow: All bow before Satan!
Sheila: I'm not listening to this.
Willow: Prince of Night, I summon you. Come fill me with your black, naughty evil.
Sheila: That's enough! Is that clear? Now, you will go to your room and stay there until I say otherwise. And, we're gonna make some changes. I don't want you hanging out with those friends of yours. It's clear where this little obsession came from. You will not speak to Bunny Summers again.

I gotta say I'm used to being the one doing the calling. That way, I get there faster.

Marcus [to Joan]

You're clearly doing God's work.

Sherlock [to Lubbock]

It's like a horny Alexa.

Joan [about Skylar]

The thing you need to understand is this isn't about you. It's about the company you keep.

Baynes [to Marcus]

He's at least half a nutjob, maybe more.

Marcus [to Gregson]

Liza: I just spent the weekend telling my daughter not to be some guy's secret. And I don't want to be in a relationship I can't be open about.
Charles: I understand, but now is just not the right time.
Liza: Call me when it is.

Liza: I wanted to tell you sooner because I'm trying to be more real.
Josh: Real? You're trying to be real? You don't even know what real is anymore.