Quotes
Gallo: I'm curious. Are you related to Dr. Beverly Hofstadter?
Leonard: She's my mother. Do you know her?
Gallo: Not personally, but I have read all of her books.
Leonard: Then you know her better than I do.
Gallo: Well I'm not so sure about that. But I can tell you I do not agree with her theories on child rearing at all.
Leonard: Really. Any chance you find them cold, cruel and unsuitable for Innocent little boys who just want to be happy?
Gallo: Well, I didn't want to say it...
Leonard: No, say it! Say it! Rent a plane, write it in the sky.
Leonard: Do you know she never let me celebrate my birthday because being born was her achievement, not mine?
Gallo: That's heart-breaking.
Leonard: Right? To this day I send her a card every year with a little money in it.
Howard: Like when you were going to make that pie, Stuart ate all the blueberries...
Bernadette: He tried to deny it but his teeth were all purple.
Howard: That was pretty cute.
Bernadette: Yeah.
Bernadette: Ew, we are missing him!
Penny: Do you have any questions?
Gallo: Just one. When you made your husband pretend to be a patient so you could get access to me, what were you thinking there?
Gallo: Here is a man raised by an overbearing woman who completely dominated every aspect of his formative years. Do you think he's perpetuating that relationship by seeking out a partner like you?
Penny: You know, I used to wear tank tops a lot. That was a big selling point.
Penny: How can I not sound like his mother when our entire bedroom is filled with Star Wars toys? I mean have you ever had sex with a stuffed Wookie watching you?
Gallo: I went to college in the 70's. It was a hairier time. I'm going to say yes.
I can't wait to kill that little bitch.
Phoebe
Haitian: You used to be a good man. A family man.
Matt: I used to be and then my family walked out on me.
Do you because your digital spawn freed Hiro Nakamura and destroyed the fortress and somehow ended up here.
Erica
Tommy: You're katana girl. Look.
Miko: How is this possible?
You know who doesn't shred files? Innocent people.
Voight
Platt: I'm gonna paint you a picture here, Denny. You lie to an officer, that's impeding an investigation, you make a false statement on the record, that's obstruction of a justice, you keep a gun, that's withholding evidence in a murder.
Denny: You brought your mom?