I mean everybody's got to go at some point, right? I just don't want my cause of death to be another man's underwear.

Deeks

Abby: I believe in magic, prayer and logic equally. Is that childish?
Honeycutt: No, it's impossible.
Abby: So is what you're saying.

McGee: Do you mind if I ask you - how long did it take you to get used to it?
Fred Linn: You don't. You just choose to move on.

Bishop: You were a sniper. How did you do it?
Gibbs: Pull the trigger.
Bishop: Right. But what did you think about while you were taking aim?
Gibbs: Smoke-checking the target, Bishop

Delilah: Since you're all here, I would like to thank you for taking out that evil coward bastard Benham Parsa.
Tony: You know, that was actually the name on the death certificate?

Delilah: Boys sent you up to wait for word, huh? Rookie hazing?
Bishop: Two hot chicks - they probably figured we'd get faster results.
Delilah: And I'm in a wheelchair. Double points!

Bishop: Bruised ribs. Can't breathe. Part of the job.
Gibbs: No it isn't. But the paperwork is.

Delilah: Agent Gibbs, do you mind if Tim gives me a ride home?
Gibbs: No. Make him take you to breakfast first.

Jess, can I borrow your glasses? We're going to roleplay as you guys.

Schmidt

I've got an uncle whose God-given name is 'Shifty.'

Nick

She is sleeping. By herself. Which is called napping.

Nick

Crazy girls are kind of my 'Hurt Locker.'

Schmidt