So my grandmother got rid of her. Not in a mob way, in a society way, which is way worse.

Caroline

This is the room that Oh-Em-Gee was designed for

Max

Max: Oh my God, you have a shoe rotisserie!
Caroline: I designed it. I call it my Ferris Heels.
Max: I'd judge you if that wasn't exactly what I'd call it if I had one.

Caroline: It says to sign in.
Max: Nicole Richie?
Caroline: I don't want anyone to know I was here.

Ok, there's bullet-proof glass with a bullet in it

Caroline

Caroline: No sushi, no dentist? Who are you?
Max: A poor person.

I went to the drugstore and bought an eight-dollar bite-guard which didn't fit my freaky Tim Burton mouth.

Caroline

Caroline: What am I gonna do without my bite-guard? My teeth don't know where to go.
Max: Maybe they should just backpack for a couple of years till they figure it out.

You can't give hipsters a microphone, that's like throwing gasoline on a pretentious fire!

Max

Caroline: Sushi! I hope you like crabroll.
Max: I never had sushi.
Caroline: That doesn't even make sense.

2 Broke Girls Season 1 Episode 4 Quotes

You can't give hipsters a microphone, that's like throwing gasoline on a pretentious fire!

Max

Caroline: Sushi! I hope you like crabroll.
Max: I never had sushi.
Caroline: That doesn't even make sense.