Liz: We sure had quite a year.
Jack: What are you talking about? It's May.

I've never seen anything like this, and I was in 'We Are The Pizza.'


Do you know if there's a sit down Quizno's in midtown?


[giving commencement address] Just be yourself, and I promise that every single person in this room will be President of the United States!


Long distance is wrong distance.


[to Liz] They want you on the 7th hour of The Today Show.


My Mary J. Blige Foundation is celebrating its 10th year of searching for the Loch Ness Monster.

Mary J. Blige

I haven't seen this many riled up dirtbags since CVS started to put the cold medicine behind the counter.


I don't know. But I have the entire liberal media establishment at my disposal, the same manipulation machine that got Barack Obama elected and donate all of that money for Rainstorm Katrina.


[on his high school classmate] We called him Mean Steve. But his real name was Steven Killer.


Nope, your fiance's gay. Look at him. Pure case of fruit blindness.


Science was my most favorite subject, especially the Old Testament.


30 Rock Season 3 Quotes

Don Geiss: If you're watching this, you are an executive of the General Electric Corporation, and the unthinkable has happened. Capitalism is ending, either because of the Soviets or something ridiculous, like a woman President. I'm speaking to you from the year 1987, but the message is timeless: Avoid The Noid!

If there's one thing I learned from you, Jack, it's to keep your friends close and your enemies so close that you're almost kissing.