Abbott Elementary
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCAbbott Elementary Quotes
Barbara: I don't know why you wouldn't trust me enough to tell me who's courting you.
Melissa: Nobody is courting me! This ain't Bridgerton; it's casual.
Barbara: Casual what? Casual friends? Casual pickpockets? Casual ghosts? Casual what?
There she is...Darth Hater herself.
Ava
Manny: How are we feeling about tonight?
Janine: Definitely not diarrheal, I'll tell you that much.
Ava: Why don't you look better?
Gregory: Because this is a modest panel of educators speaking mostly to fellow educators on a Tuesday. I'm dressed appropriately.
Melissa: Maybe for a Monday.
You okay? You look like Raven having a vision.
Gregory
Mr. Johnson: You two are friends.
Jacob: Please don't tell anyone; we're not ready for people to know.
Mr. Johnson: Alright, but this is a dangerous game you're playing.
Janine: Why weren't they allowed to check out books?
Barbara: Because the library is booked out like some new hip restaurant with a hostess that has no respect for the patrons that came before they started charging $25 to set your drink on fire.
Ava: Hey Mr. Johnson, where'd you get those shoes? Crappos?
Mr. Johnson: (cries)
Ava: It's a cute picture but it'd be cuter with some cash on top.
Janine: Here is ten bucks, Ava. Are you happy now?
Ava: Yes. Is that so wrong?
I'm Janine Teagues, damn it. I don't wait for anything. Except when it's polite. That's just courtesy.
Janine
Bradley Cooper: I'm not in Oppenheimer.
Ava: Are you sure? Everybody was in Oppenheimer.
I threw together this little surprise recital for Barb because apparently you can't key a church lady's car anymore.
Ava
