Kai: Say something funny.
Alex: I'm happy to see you.
Kai: And he's back.

Max: I hear [Catherine] is a real ball-buster.
Alex: She has her charms.

Dammit, man. It's an earbud, not a microphone.

Alex [to Kai]

Next time we meet, I would like to see that you've used your journal in a more articulate fashion.

Doctor [to Alex]

I think this guy was at the wrong place at the wrong time. We just have to find out where that place was.

Alex

Kai: You can tell all that from looking at a photo of a wound?
Alex: You can't?

Cory: Then you get water on Thursday.
Alex: What am I supposed to do until then?
Cory: Smell real bad.

What are you doing? You frighten the guests. You look like rabid dog.

Cory [to Alex]

I really am sorry for all this. But apparently you're a man who can't be bought.

Von Bueron [to Cordero]

Mendoza: You're not going to screw this up and have one of your episodes, are you?
Alex: Your faith in me is overwhelming.

[Drug agents] are soldiers in a fog of war. And in war, the only thing that is ever clear is who's alive and who's dead.

Gentlemen, I am your free pass to the American market.

Alex

Almost Paradise Quotes

No stress, no drama. Just peace and quiet.

Alex [to Doctor]

Doctor: If you don't take them, with your level of hypertension, your heart will become enlarged.
Alex: I know. Ticking time bomb.
Doctor: No. There's no ticking. Just "boom." Heart failure. And trust me that's worse than penis failure.
Alex: That's your opinion.