Tobias: Well, I don't need money to hang out with my daughter. Where are you going?
Maeby: We're going shopping.
Tobias: Oh, no, no, I can't do that.

Rollo: If you care about your brother, you'll get in this car.
Michael: Which brother?

Lucille: I'm so glad you're here. I want you to help me break up your brother and his girlfriend.
Michael: Well, I'm all for that. We just got to find him first.
Lucille: He's locked on the balcony.
Michael: Oh, you meant Buster. I thought you were talking about Gob.

Mom, you're ruining our fort!


Michael: I don't know whether this guy's a mobster, a loan shark, something equally scary.
Gob: Magician.
Michael: I think you're confusing "scary" with "silly." This guy was frightening. He was in a limo.

Michael: Then, why does he want to break your legs?
Gob: He doesn't want to break my legs. He wants to take my legs.

Michael: So, Rollo wants your legs, but you're cheating on Marta with those legs. Is that about right?
Gob: Would you give me a break, please? The legs are insanely jealous.

Great. Great. You know what, Gob? Marta is a once-in-a-lifetime woman. She's a treasure, and I don't think you're showing her enough respect, okay?


You have to be some sort of she-hulk to get this.


Tobias: Oh, Maeby, great news. I got my hands on some money. I can't say how or when ... or where my wedding ring is, but my purse overfloweth, as do my high spirits, so a-shopping we must go.
Maeby: Dad, we already went.

Lance: May I help you?
Tobias: Oh, I hope so. Um, I'm looking for something that says, "Dad likes leather."
Lance: Something that says, "leather daddy"?
Tobias: Oh, is there such a thing?

Narrator: And so, for the first time, Michael set a plan in motion to take something that didn't belong to him.
Michael: You know, I was thinking. I'd like to help you guys out one more time. You know what you should do? You should surprise Gob on stage. I know that he's looking for a new assistant.

Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes

The zero hour, Michael. It's the end of the line. I'm the firstborn. Sick of playing second fiddle. Always third in line for everything. Tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm taking over.


(Regarding Buster) Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. But he was her 'miracle baby'. And I-I was just too burnt out on raising you guys to care. So... He turned out a little soft, you know...

George Sr.