Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes
And so, Lindsay and Maeby separately went to the same restaurant to celebrate the jobs they hadn't actually performed, with money they hadn't actually earned.
Narrator
Gob: I should be in charge. I'm the older brother.
Michael: Do you even want to be in charge?
Gob: No ... but I'd like to be asked!
(on the phone) Then why don't you marry an ice cream sandwich!
Lucille
Tobias recently lost his medical license for administering C.P.R. to a person who, as it turns out, was not having a heart attack.
Narrator
Lucille: If you're saying I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all my children equally.
(Earlier that day)
Lucille: I don't care for Gob.
Michael: Dad was always banker, so there was no beating him.
George Michael: He should have been stocking up on those "get out of jail free" cards.
Michael: (about George Michael) Well, I guess he really misses his family.
Lindsay: Well, he doesn't know us very well.
Michael: Yeah, clearly.
Well, I'm sorry. It's just it's too late. I'm truly sorry, but I'm moving to Phoenix. I got a job. (long pause) It's something you apply for, and then they pay you to, um ... never mind. I don't want to ruin the surprise.
Michael
Tobias: I'm alright, gang. What an adventure gang. I thought that the homosexuals were pirates, but it turns out most of them were actors in the local theater. You're right, though. It is amazing, I've been waiting for the universe to provide a path for me ... And I think it has ...
Lindsay: You're gay?
Tobias: No. No ... Ha, I'm not gay. How many times must we have this conversation?
(regarding uncircumcised penises) I think it looks frightening when it's cut off. It's a Doberman -- let it have its ears.
Lindsay
(Whispering)
George Sr.: They cannot arrest a husband and wife for the same crime.
Michael: Yeah? I don't think that that's true, dad.
George Sr.: Really? I've got the worst (bleep) attorneys!
Lucille: Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire!
Lindsay: Good grief, Mother! Not all homosexuals are flamboy -- Oh, my God, I have the exact same blouse.
