Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes
Michael: Well, I got news for you, Gob. Dad still doesn't trust me to this day. He treats me like a low level employee.
Gob: It's better than being treated like the goofball... the joker... the magician (uncrosses arms dramatically and nothing happens)
*pause*
Michael: I thought you were gonna do, like a trick there, like the fireball or something.
Lindsay: Roger was my male counterpart in high school.
Roger: Remember how crazy our hair was back then?
Lindsay: Oh ... What were we thinking? So, what are you doing now?
Tobias: He's, uh, casting my commercial.
Roger: Yeah, trying to. The South Coast Boutique is having a fire sale.
Lindsay: South Coast Boutique? They're having a fire sale?!
Okay, we are just about ass-to-ankles back here, Maeby. Do you want to hop on your cousin's lap there, please?
Tobias
(Michael opens the fridge looking for something to eat, but only finds a bag labeled: "Dead dove. Do not eat.")
Michael: (while looking inside the bag) I don't know what I expected.
Tobias: First of all, I love it. Quick question, though: am I panicked about the fire, or am I being brave for everyone else?
Roger Danish: The fire? It's ... it's a fire sale.
Lucille: (about Gob) He's very upset. You haven't included him in the business at all. He's your older brother. You could find a little job for him. Make him feel special.
Michael: But he's not special, Mother.
Lucille: No. But he loves you.
Lucille: Oh, it's probably all in a storage unit somewhere.
Michael: Where's the storage unit?
Lucille: I don't remember.
Michael: Try.
Lucille: Something-dale. I don't know -- Brookfeather, Raintree. It's hot. It was very hot there. I've never been ... get a warrant.
Michael: Don't think I won't.
Michael: What's going on? This is exactly where the two of you were when I left this morning. Is nobody going to even try to get a job?
Lindsay: I have a job, Michael. It's called "supporting my husband."
Michael: You certainly haven't been shopping. The only thing I found in the freezer was a dead dove in a bag.
Gob: You didn't eat that, did you? 'Cause I've only got a couple days left to return it.
Michael: (about Gob) So, what do you want me to do about it?
Lucille: Don't take that tone. He's my son. I want you to make him stop calling me.
Maeby: We throw away a banana for every buck we take so no one finds out.
T-Bone: Wait a minute. I think you should do that math again.
George Michael: Why? Is it wrong?
Maeby: It's fine. He's an arsonist, not an embezzler.
Narrator: Michael realized that his father had even taken control of the banana stand, but he still had some unanswered questions, so he did a little detective work.
Michael: You burn down the storage unit?
T-Bone: Oh, most definitely.
T-Bone: Welcome to Bluth Bananas, where bananas are our business. May I interest you in a banana this day?
Michael: T-Bone, what are you doing here?
T-Bone: Oh, your dad gave me this job.
