Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes
Michael: Maybe you'll be inspired by the boat party tonight and start a career as a pirate.
Tobias: I haven't packed for that.
Lucille: And I'm putting Buster in charge.
Gob: He's a good choice.
Michael: Buster? The guy who thought that the blue on the map was land?
Gob: You know, I sort of thought my contribution could be a magic show.
(Shot of Alliance of Magicians)
Michael: Oh, that's perfect, Gob.
Gob: Thank you.
Michael: Or, wait a minute. I just remembered something - Dad's retiring, not turning six.
Ok, guys, um ... They are going to keep Dad in prison at least until this gets all sorted out. Also, the attorney said that they're going to have to put a halt on the company's expense account. (All gasp) Interesting. I would've expected that after "They're keeping Dad in jail".
Michael
Then, mistaking a group of garishly dressed men for pirates, Tobias boarded a van full of homosexuals.
Narrator
Maeby: Um, yeah, I bought a frozen banana, and when I bit into it, I found this.
George Michael: It looks like a foot.
Maeby: It tasted like a foot. Which I didn't really mind, but I'm pretty sure I said "no nuts".
Michael: So ... this is the magic trick, huh?
Gob: "Illusion," Michael. A "trick" is something a whore does for money. (Michael points out that a bunch of kids are staring at Gob with their mouths open) ... Or candy!
I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.
Lucille
Unbelievable. Sounds like you saved enough skin to make 10 new boys.
Michael
Look what they've done, Michael. Look what the homosexuals have done to me.
Lucille
Michael: What have we always said is the most important thing. What comes first?
George Michael: Breakfast.
Michael: Family.
George Michael: Family. Right. I thought you meant out of the things you eat.
Gob: So what? Lindsay's been staying at the Four Seas for, like, a month- she's probably charging the company.
Michael: Lindsay's been in town for a month?
Gob: I don't think so.
