And now, a message of hope. Everything is garbage. You find something you care about, and it's taken from you. Your colleagues, your dream job, your mango yoghurt. Never love anything. That's the lesson.

Holt

Savant: It was like taking candy from a baby.
Terry: Why are you giving candy to a baby in the first place? Don’t give candy to a baby! They can’t brush their teeth!

Holt: I know you'd all rather be at home binge-watching media content...
Jake: Ohhh! I just started the second season of "Media Content". No spoilers.

Do you know how many basic bitches would kill to have the same personality as me?

Gina

When it comes to shooting patterns, I like to go PB&J. Penis, Brain, Jaw.

Jake

Jake: Sargeant Jeffards search the internet for, “undiscovered muscle.”
Terry: I was working out and saw a muscle in my shoulder that I’d never seen before. I thought it might have been a scientific discovery.

Holt: Do you know I love milk?
Gina: Uh, no.
Holt: Well I do, but it hurts my stomach, so I haven't had milk, a beverage I love, for 19 years. Nineteen MILKLESS years I've gone, but for some reason I can't...quit...cwazy cupcakes

I think I am...getting a text message. Bloop! There it is.

Holt

Boon: Let New York’s bravest handle it.
Jake: You know they only call you that because “New York’s Best at Spraying Stuff with Water” was too wordy.

I feel like I'm the Paris of people.

GIna

I am playing a character - a no-nonsense detective whose only goal is to set this course record. His name is Vic Kovack, he's an ex-Navy Seal who was double crossed and left for dead...I don't have time to go into his backstory!

Jake

Almost makes me wanna take things seriously all the time, but then I'm like, "boobs, farts, boobs, whatever."

Jake

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Jake: So talk to me Goose, how are we lookin'?
Gina: Sexy, but not like we're trying to, but like, sure we're trying, but it's almost effortless?

Amy: Rule number one, let's not tell anyone so we can figure out what this is first.
Jake: Smart. Rule number two, let's not put labels on it. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend, we're just...murmzeep and jinglebin.
Amy: Great. Rule number three, let's not have sex right away.
Jake: (pause) Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool, no doubt no doubt no doubt no doubt. Good rule, no sex, good rule.