I don't know what's gonna happen on this assignment, and if something bad goes down, I think I'd be pissed at myself if I didn't say this. I kinda wish something could happen, between us, romantic styles.


I don't wanna be a jerk, I know you're dating Teddy and it's going really well.


This whole place reeks of bacon. Well guess what? I'm going kosher. Cause Jakey don't dig on swine!


You can't handle the me!


How did you manage to step on both of my feet at the same time


Vivian is my fiancee. My ex-fiancee. My never-wife.


Forget your ex, have meaningless sex. It rhymes because it's true.


Good point, Captain Holt. Or should I say Captain Raymond Sex-Vibes!


Terry: Sorry about your hand.
Charles: Thanks. It makes it really hard to manipulate my egg sack.

Judge: I'm sorry, I had to take that.
Holt: You gotta do what you gotta do. Captain Raymond Holt. What's up

Judge: Justice cannot be rushed.
Jake: But, could it be gently nudged into hyperspeed?

I don't know what to do, I've tried being supportive. I listened to him talk about Vivian's lips for 2 hours!


Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 1 Quotes

Jake: So talk to me Goose, how are we lookin'?
Gina: Sexy, but not like we're trying to, but like, sure we're trying, but it's almost effortless?

Holt: I know you'd all rather be at home binge-watching media content...
Jake: Ohhh! I just started the second season of "Media Content". No spoilers.