Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 1 Episode 2: "The Harvest" Quotes
Buffy: Well, I gotta look on the bright side. Maybe I can still get kicked out of school?
[Xander, Buffy and Willow walk away]
Xander: Oh, yeah, that’s a plan. Because lots of schools are not hellmouths.
Willow: Maybe you can blow something up? They’re really strict about that.
Buffy: I was thinking of a more subtle approach. You know, like excessive not studying.
[Giles touches his glasses]
Giles: The earth is doomed.
Buffy: So Giles, got anything that could make this day any worse?
Giles: How about the end of the world?
Buffy: ...I knew I could count on you.
Harmony: Okay, I think the program is done.
Cordelia: Finally the nightmare ends! So, how do we save it?
Willow: “Deliver.”
Cordelia: Deliver? Where’s that? Oh!
[The file deletes and Cordelia is shocked]
Willow: Buffy, I’m not anxious to go into a dark place full of monsters, but I do want to help. I need to.
Giles: Then help me. We can research this Harvest affair. It seems to be some sort of preordained massacre, rivers of blood, hell on earth...quite charmless. I’m a bit fuzzy, however, on the details. Maybe you rest some details from that dread machine?
[They look at him confused]
Giles: That was a bit...ummm...British, wasn’t it?
Buffy: Welcome to the new world.
Xander: Okay, this is where I have a problem. See, because we’re having a talk about vampires. We’re having a talk...with vampires in it.
Willow: Isn’t that what we saw last night?
Buffy: No. No, those weren’t vampires. Those were just guys in a serious need of a facial. Or maybe they had rabies? It could’ve been rabies! And that guy turning into dust... just trick of light.
[Xander gives her a look]
Buffy: That’s exactly what I said the first time I saw a vampire. Well, after I was done with the screaming part.
Willow: Oh, I need to sit down.
Buffy: You are sitting down.
Willow: Oh...good for me.
