Favorite Californication Quotes
Of course I haven't had an erection in the past decade but that's another story, but that doesn't stop me from giving face rides to my sister wives right ladies?
Zig
Marci: What? I'm not good enough to get knocked up by god? Fuck you! Some friend you are.
Charlie: That monkey was a deviant and a cock blocker.
Sasha: How do I look?
Hank: Good enough to shit on.
Becca: We used protection! He had a condom in his wallet that he said had been there since high school. It wasn't love and it wasn't perfect or anything but I'm glad I did it, I got it over with. And i wanted to tell you first, because I wanted you to know that you didn't fuck me up. My life is tough and weird and unpleasant sometimes but I walk around knowing that I have parents who love me and care about me and who always try their best even if they screw up sometimes. I know I gave you a hard time when mom was gone, but I hope you know that I love you, Dad, and I always will.
Hank: Alright... um, can you wait till New York to tell your mom about this?
There's no law against stealing from a colossal douchebag.
Hank
Honey, I didn't mean to force moisture from your face.
Hank
I had my whole life flash before my eyes, really just like a TIVO on fast forward, and you know what? It was really fucking pathetic.
Charlie
Hank, you might consider smiling a little more often, it uh, got me kind of wet.
Abby
Jesus, I love this little buddha you shot out of your vag! So wise!
Marcy
Abby: Is there something I should know here?
Charlie: Such as?
Abby: Is he retarded?
Jackie: Are you ok?
Hank: No, I just got my ass kicked by a J-crew catalog - I'm not OK.
I was just putting my thoughts in order when I was rudely interrupted by the ill affects of self-medicating.
Hank
