To quote The Clash, should I stay or should I rock the casbah?

Hank Moody

Marcy Runkle: You can have the ass if you want.
Charlie Runkle: You can keep it.

Radio Show Host: What's your latest obsession?
Hank Moody: Just the fact that people seem to be getting dumber and dumber. You know, I mean we have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it's really given us is Howard Dean's aborted candidacy and 24 hour a day access to kiddie porn. People... they don't write anymore, they blog. Instead of talking, they text, no punctuation, no grammar: LOL this and LMFAO that. You know, it just seems to me it's just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people at a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King's English.

Hank Moody: 'B' to the 'I' to the double 'L'. What's up, my nig nog?
Bill Lewis: I need to talk to you.
Hank Moody: Well, you should have called. I wouldn't have answered, but you could've left a message, which I would have quickly erased.

Hey. You know, it's not fair to say BRB and then never actually BRB.

Hank Moody

Try not to forget all the times I brought you to fruition. 33 to be exact.

Hank Moody

I love women. I have all their albums.

Hank Moody

Californication Quotes

Nobody likes you. You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile, you f--cking douche!

Hank Moody

You fucked me in the ass Hank! I swallowed your cum, but worst of all, I swallowed your fucking bullshit. And you can rationalize it all you want by saying you were always honest with me, but it's still stealing.

Carrie