Californication Quotes
I know you're saving the planet and all, but it doesn't give you the right to be an asshole!
Hank
Life is too short to dance with fat girls.
Hank Moody
It'd be nice if I could fellate myself while farting the White album, but I haven't quite mastered that yet.
Hank Moody
We have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The Internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it's really given us is Howard Dean's aborted candidacy and 24-hour a day access to kiddie porn.
Hank Moody
Nobody likes you. You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile, you f--cking douche!
Hank Moody
Well, you should've called. I wouldn't have answered, but you coulda left a message, which I would've quickly erased.
Hank Moody
A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness.
Hank Moody
I won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister.
Hank Moody
I just get so lonely sometimes. I need a hug for a moment and the moment passes. I'm good. Smell you later.
Hank Moody
Hank Moody: Oh, look at the time: The big hand says F**k, and the little hand says Off. Good thing there's not a second hand. I'm going in.
She's got a nose ring, too. You know what that means.
Hank Moody
You can't snort a line of coke off a woman's ass and not wonder about her hopes and dreams, it's not gentlemanly.
Hank Moody
