Travis: You ever get tired of being you?
Wes: Occasionally, but somebody's gotta do it.

I'm worried about the dog and yelling at you is making me feel better!

Wes

So you get to be the fun one and I get to provide all the discipline.

Wes

Your whole life is a special circumstance.

Wes

Bro Code? Is this college?!

Wes

You're a deeply damaged man.

Travis

I am a positive ion in the universe.

Sutton

You go through staplers almost as fast as you go through women.

Wes

I thought that if I really cared about it, it would really messy me up when I finally had to leave.

Travis

Not everyone wants to see their breath indoors.

Travis

You hate it--- Which makes me like it more.

Wes

I'm not gonna gloat about it. I'm just simply gonna say....TOUCHDOWN!

Travis

Common Law Quotes

If he takes care of you the way he takes care of that car, then you're one lucky lady.

Mechanic [about Wes]

Travis: We hate people who don't help people when they ask for directions.
Wes: We also hate gun runners.