Pierce: You guys think I'm some sort of a joke!
Jeff: This isn't disproving the theory

Thank god he didn't take it. Could you imagine bouncing a check to Kunta Kinte?


Jeff: If you're lying to me, if my father isn't coming, if a car pulls up and anyone other than my father steps out, say an actor or you in a wig, if you pull any Ferris Bueller, Parent Trap, Three's Company, FX, FX2: the Deadly Art of Illusion bull--- I will beat you. And there will be nothing madcap or wacky about it.

Shirley: I guess the lesson here is I sometimes use guilt as a weapon.
Abed: What are you doing?
Shirley: Oh, just shooting a talking head. Or did you want me to be the only one who didn't have one?

Set phasers to love me!


I've told Pierce a thousand times, I never wanted to meet Levar in person! I just wanted a picture! You can't disappoint a picture! I hate you Pierce! I hate you so much!


Now I'm really getting mad. Why am I the only one he decided to torture?


I was never one to hold a grudge, Jeffrey. My father held grudges. I'll always hate him for that.


It's called a Complisult. Part compliment, part insult. He invented them. I coined the term. See what I just did there? That was an explainabrag.


Me and Abed have an agreement. If one of us dies, we stage it to look like a suicide caused by the unjust cancellation of Firefly. We're gonna get that show back on the air buddy!


I don't want to die in a place like this. People shouldn't die in the same place as People magazines do.


Pierce: Britta, you're the selfless one in the group, right?
Britta: Wouldn't know, haven't thought about myself in years.

Community Season 2 Episode 16 Quotes

Everytime I need to cheer up I just make fun of Pierce, but now it would just make me sadder. It's Gregory Hines all over again.


Pierce: It was the pills, they just took me over. I saw awful things: aliens, demons, Critters 3, and something called Bruce Willis Surrogates.