Community Quotes
Britta: Did you do all that to me on purpose? That's not a very nice way to treat your friends
Abed: Well, Britta, it isn't called friend business, it's called show business [lights up a cigarette and leaves the room]
Britta: He's smoking!
Jeff: Honey, let him leave the nest
Abed's Dad: Dreams are for sleeping
Britta: You don't know that
Abed's Dad: It's clinically proven
Our first assignment is a documentary, they're like real movies but with ugly people
Abed
9/11 was pretty much the 9/11 of the falafel market
Abed
Abed: Jeff, I have to make some adjustments to my film, you'll play my father
Jeff: I don't want to be your father
Abed: Perfect, you already know the lines
Jeff: Hey troy sneezes like a girl
Troy: How about I pound you like a boy... that didn't come out right
Shirley: Pierce has always been on my watch list.
Troy: That dude is crazy. He told me girls have two pee holes
Hey Abed, real stories -- they don't have spoilers. You understand that TV and life are different, right?
Britta
You do this thing with your face when you're trying to be funny that forces people to think about how cool you are. It's very distracting
Pierce [to Jeff]
Britta: That was one of the worst things I have ever seen. Which I guess makes being a part of it a pretty selfless, so I'm impressed
Jeff: How do you know I didn't do it just to get another shot with you?
Britta: Cause a smart man like you would know that no woman in that class would be able to look at you as a sexually viable candidate ever again
Senor Chang: Why are there costumes? These are supposed to be short conversations, they're not supposed to.
Jeff: Take your breath away?
Britta: I was a little too harsh on you, I'm not perfect
Jeff: I am, I'd be happy to show you the ropes
