Dershwasher

Ellie

Title Card: Courteney Cox's boobs at 06:33

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Laurie: This will cheer you up! I have really good news?
Ellie: Are you sterile?!

Hey pale face, how's the sun feel for the first time?

Ellie

This one's for you continuity nerds.

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Uh, I think I sweated off my birth control patch.

Laurie

Honey, cutting crotches out of pants is not sewing.

Jules

I'm gonna make that pale ass, icy bitch love me whether she likes it or not.

Jules

Ellie: Wow, you're annoying.
Jules: I know, but I'll always have your back.
Ellie: And I'm more loyal than I am mean.
Jules: Oh, well you're real loyal aren't you?

Grayson: And is this why Travis thinks he's so handsome.
Jules: Yep, that's all me.

Jellybean, you are the verbal equivalent of huffing paint.

Ellie

Happy Valentines Day. Yeah it's a fake holiday, but we still want stuff. Xoxo The female writers P.S. Not lingerie - that's for you

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Cougar Town Quotes

Jules: You see that young gentleman there, I'd love to lick his body
Woman: That's my son
Jules: Ooh, he looks smart

Jules: When a 40-something guy gets divorced, it's always: "Way to go, Tiger!"
Grayson: We don't call each other Tiger. It's always Champ, or Samurai.