Not like that! You're not going off to war!

Jules

I'm gonna take turns crying on both of you.

Jules

His smile lights up the world.

Laurie

It's not nice to test friends when they don't know they are being tested.

Ellie

Grayson: Wow! That was insane. He was literally sitting on my face!
Jules: He's never had much feeling in his butt.

If it's any constellation that hat was so big you could probably make a thousand tiny ones.

Bobby

Worst liar ever.

Grayson

Yes, I got that from a Sandra Bullock movie, but ya know, I still mean it.

Jules

Jules: It's not like I was super cool.
Travis: Is that you dancing on stage with Bruce Springsteen?
Jules: Yeah that was super cool.

I love it - it's like we're in prison.

Andy

Holy big hat, I love it - hides so much of your face.

Laurie

Jules: You suck at musical beers.
Grayson: This is my bar damn it.

Cougar Town Season 1 Quotes

Jules: You see that young gentleman there, I'd love to lick his body
Woman: That's my son
Jules: Ooh, he looks smart

Jules: When a 40-something guy gets divorced, it's always: "Way to go, Tiger!"
Grayson: We don't call each other Tiger. It's always Champ, or Samurai.