Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSCougar Town Season 1 Quotes
It's not my fault that I am allergic to latex and birth control pills.
Laurie
I have a rule that every kiss should last three seconds - it's what the Obama's do.
Laurie
Jules: Wine in the morning on the weekends. Lets all think about it people.
Bobby: Think about what?
Grayson: Morning drinking.
That's how it started for my Uncle Max - then he bought some wigs and changed his name to Maxine, but you know what is really funny? He still goes by Max.
Laurie
Jeff: Jules and Grayson. Is this gonna be fun or weird?
Jules: Did you ever cheat on me?
Jeff: So fun then.
Bobby: When your mom and I were married, I cheated on her.
Travis: What? No! Wait. What? Let me pick something off the floor, my jaw.
Bobby: You know?
Jules Everyone knows. The guy at the pizza place would say two medium pepperonis and you deserve better.
Travis: I figured it out when you gave me lollipop not to tell mom when you were taking a bath with a Native American.
Ellie: Andy, punishment for cheating?
Andy: Removing my own genitalia with garden shears while you watch.
As my uncle dad always told me, check yourself, before you wreck yourself.
Laurie
Jules: If you go to college within six hours, I'm gonna drive there and if you don't we can rent the same movie and watch it while we're on the phone.
Travis: Sounds horrifying.
Sara: Come to dinner tonight. I can't cook, but I'll bring plenty of free wine.
Ellie: Marry me.
I always hold eye contact with people, it totally freaks out my gyno.
Laurie
Women do love when men fight for them. There is nothing less sexy than a man that respects a restraining order.
Laurie
