Naomi: Hey! Don't yell at me in front of the Oriental! They're a very peaceful people.
Rebecca: Oh my god, you are so offensive.

• Permalink: Oh my god, you are so offensive.
• Added: January 13, 2017

Naomi: Streisand and Hitler.
Congregation: Remember that we suffered!
Rabbi Shari: Spielberg and Hitler.
Congregation: Remember that we suffered!
Naomi and Rabbi Shari: Have we mentioned Hitler? I'm just saying that we suffered!

• Permalink: Have we mentioned Hitler? I'm just saying that we suffered!
• Added: January 13, 2017

Rebecca: We are going to a family bar mitzvah. So he's going to meet the entire Garfinkel clan. So it will be wonderful.
Nathaniel: If you say so.
Rebecca: I do say so, because he is the man of my dreams.
Nathaniel: You know you say that a lot. I never heard anyone else use the phrase, 'man of my dreams,' before you. Sounds like something a super secure person says.

• Permalink: You know you say that a lot. I never heard anyone else use the phrase, 'man of my dreams,'...
• Added: January 13, 2017

Darryl: Hey, you know what? You're doing really well, Nathaniel. No, I see how hard you work, how talented you are are, how little food you eat. You're a very disciplined young man and you don't need your dad to tell you that. You have to know that for yourself.
Nathaniel: I've been kind of a jerk to you, Darryl. And I'm gonna pay to have the tooth blood cleaned out of your car.
Darryl: Well, thank you. You're a good kid. Apology accepted.
Nathaniel: Well, I didn't apologize...

• Permalink: Well, I didn't apologize...
• Added: January 13, 2017

Josh: Rebecca Nora Bunch, will -
Dr. Akopian: NO!
Josh: you -
Dr. Akopian: WAIT!
Josh: marry -
Dr. Akopian: PLEASE!
Josh: me?
Rebecca: YES!
Dr. Akopian: NOOOOOO!

• Permalink: NOOOOOO!
• Added: January 13, 2017