Paula: I used to think she was his OTP.
Scott: Over The Pants?
Paula: One True Pairing

Heather: I have news.
Rebecca: Is it that you’re getting us a new vibrator? Because the old one is on its last legs.
Heather: You don’t still use my vibrator.
Rebecca: No I don’t.

Brendan doesn’t sell drugs anymore which is kind of a bummer because he was my weed guy.

Scott

Rebecca: Have you considered owning a condo?
AJ: No way. I don’t even know what a condo is.

I love pretzels, they are a funky treat for teens.

Tucker

Drive safe, or recklessly! Whichever makes me cooler.

Rebecca

Hello Rebecca. Please, I need to say something very important to you. First, little boy move aside, we don't have any money for your youth club overpriced candy.

Nathaniel

I just can't. I'm with child. I'm with a child, my brother.

Rebecca

Oh right, it's the theater. You can have female directors.

Rebecca

There are so many different professions that don't turn you into Jeff Sessions.

Jim

A gap year! I did one of those, so did Malia Obama. She went to South and Central America and learned a lot about herself. I went to Arkansas to help my aunt raise her five kids after her husband put a gun in his mouth. I learned a lot about myself too, my tubes are tied.

Maya

Heather: We already had a wedding.
Hector: Well I know, and it was sweet. But now we can have another wedding with the people we love.
Heather: Oh, you're one of those.
Hector: You mean a person?

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Quotes

Rebecca: Where are you from again?
Josh: West Covina, California. 91791!
Rebecca: West Covina, I remember that. That's near the beach, right?
Josh: Yeah, only two hours...well, four in traffic.

Dear God, I don't pray to you because I believe in science. But I don't know what to do. Give me guidance, please. Ah-men. A-men. Amen?

Rebecca Bunch