This is a song I wrote.


Oh good, an abstract theatrical space, now I can actually think …


I love every person in this room.


Do you still make those candy cane mochas? I know the holidays are almost over but what the hell, I want to treat myself.

Dr. Akopian

Nathaniel: God, I hope I win though.
Josh: I really hope you lose.
Nathaniel: I also hope Greg dies.

Greg: You're the love of my life. You know that, right?
Rebecca: Well, I do now.

Okay, let's just put it out there, I've retired from stalking but you never lose the skills.


Dude, I have known you for most of your life, and I've never seen you as happy as when you are with Rebecca.

White Josh

I'm asking you nicely to get out of my kitchen! This is how customers get meningitis.


Josh: Sir!
Nathaniel: Hey buddy.
Josh: I'm going to need you to stand down.
Nathaniel: Literally what do you mean?

Wait, I can propose?!


I love being the chosen custodian of your dream.


Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Quotes

Rebecca: Where are you from again?
Josh: West Covina, California. 91791!
Rebecca: West Covina, I remember that. That's near the beach, right?
Josh: Yeah, only two hours...well, four in traffic.

Dear God, I don't pray to you because I believe in science. But I don't know what to do. Give me guidance, please. Ah-men. A-men. Amen?

Rebecca Bunch