Popular Eastbound & Down Quotes
There's gonna be an ass ton of crabs, lobsters, wine, Bartles & Jaymes, corn on the cob, f*ckin booger sugar.
Kenny Powers
Is that my thong? Oh, dude no way! You do not go in my drawers and take out a pair of my chones. That is a big no no!
Kenny Powers
Gross! You're crop dusting my whole entire bedroom with your pubes right now. Don't be sorry, dude. Just cover up that marblesack.
Kenny Powers
Did this tale end the way I thought it would? Probably not. But as long as I win, who gives a sh*t?
Kenny Powers
Once again I'm with the hottest chick in town, buyin' the most expensive fashions, dinin' in the fanciest food places, riding around on goddamn jet skis. Rainin' trim. Hallucinogens. Jet skis again. Throwin' heat. And getting laid.
Kenny Powers
I can't believe I opened up my heart up to that bitch. Opened it wide up. And she just squatted with that big beautiful booty and dumped all over it.
Kenny Powers
Yeah Stevie, I'm pretty sure the guy I'm looking for didn't direct the f*cking blair witch project. Just forget you ever heard the name Eduardo Sanchez. Forget that he supposedly lives in a village near here. Forget that he is not Mexican, but a gringo.
Kenny Powers
If you've got something you want to say, then just say it. You can save us alot of time with this f*ckin pointless history lesson in this goddamn creepy, uninmpressive, f*ckin hall. I don't like it in here. It's gross.
Kenny Powers
Why would you do this to me? Here this whole time I thought you were the whore with a heart of gold. Instead you're just a whore with a real whore's heart.
Kenny Powers
The good thing about getting over depression is... well... you can start to see your enemies more clearly. Suddenly, everyone isn't an obstacle, just some people are... And it might be someone that you find is in your bloodline, distant and as brown as their skin can be, they still are part of you.
Kenny Powers
Kenny Powers: I got two hard rules I live by, pop: I don't f*ck with the devil, and I never do tag teams with blood relatives.
Truth be told, things aren't going as good for me as I led on to believe. The love of my life married some other dude, and my new girlfriend fed her pussy to the owner of the baseball team I just quit. I stole homeboy's car, and now I'm probably a wanted fugitive.
Kenny Powers
