Popular Eastbound & Down Quotes
Yeah, I've actually had multiple orgasms on jet skis. Maybe it's something in our blood that we can just ya know, get hard from riding f*ckin badass ya know, terrain vehicles... water crafts...
Kenny Powers
I paid cash for the motherf*cker. Bought it with an advance that I was paid for this, uh... self help novel I'm about to have published onto the Oprah's book clubs... Pretty much saved all my pennies from my major league days. Invested a lot of it very wisely in stocks, bonds, famous works of arts.
Kenny Powers
Chapter 17. Done, and f*ckin' done. Just like that, the journey is over... depression is finished, and you're on your way back to the world of the living, smiling, regular people... The road has been paved with d*ckheads, backstabbers, and pains in the f*ckin' ass... but memories were made, allies were had, pole smokers were toppled, and the truth was discovered.
Kenny Powers
We can do some f*cking great things tonight, you guys. Follow me. Walk with me out on to that field. And when you do, you will f*cking put your ass out, and you raise your f*cking head up. Know that you'll never, ever... ever reach the heights that you're gonna reach tonight. But you can leave here knowing that you helped Kenny Powers' dreams come tru... For a bunch of Mexican baseball players, that ain't too bad.
Kenny Powers
Purity - it's what we all desire, and it is what I've come here to share with you. Hence the all whites.
Kenny Powers
Let's face it guys, after midnight, this whole f*cking place turns into a pumpkin, and you guys all turn back into mice. This is a classic Cinderella tale here. You know, Peter Pan will no longer be a man, he'll turn into a real boy. George Washington will never be able to cut down the beanstalk. You guys will eventually just go back to bein' the sh*ttiest Mexican baseball team in Mexico.
Kenny Powers
I brought you guys up from less than f*ckin' nothin', and took you up to a championship level, only to abandon you there... leave you high and dry, naked and nude, prey, easy targets for the competitions, to rape and buttf*ck you. I'm sorry for that.
Kenny Powers
Too hot for hugs here, man. I've been battlin' a war with swamp ass since I got down here.
Kenny Powers
That sweet tailpipe of yours did have me charmed. It put a spell on me, but all the ass magic in Mexico can't change Kenny Powers from his core beliefs. I'm not an ass man. I'm a tit man. I like big ass boobs - now, and forever. I'm not like a black guy, Vida.
Kenny Powers
A goddamn Mexican standoff in f*ckin' Mexico. I was hoping to get into one of these before I left.
Kenny Powers
Whenever I look at a Mexican I will think of you. Whenever you look at that jackass you think of me, okay?
Kenny Powers
Reminds me of why I'm here in the first place. A quest is nuthin' if you got no one to brag about it too, will never reach the end if you're only doing it for yourself. Me, I'm doing it for a girl I had to leave behind, just to get this far. Now I gotta go a little further to get back to her. All I can do is hope that one day she'll understand, and when that day comes, it's not too late.
Kenny Powers
