Eastwick Quotes
(to Joanna and Kat) Would you like to drive me to the mental institution yourself, or should I take my own car?
Roxie
Roxie: Since you're a high school dropout, would-be rapist, future Dateline predator who works in a gas station, I'll talk slowly. If you ever touch my daughter again, or any other innocent girl for that matter, so help me God!
Gus: Ok, well, first of all, your little Mia is not so innocent, lady. And second, I may be a high school dropout, but you're the slut who killed her husband so she can bang half the town.
Roxie: I'd be careful what I say next, if I were you.
(opening her gift from Darryl) And it's Maurice. Oh boy! Kat gets silk, and I get... Maurice.
Joanna
I ran out of deodorant this morning, so I rubbed my pits with the dryer sheet and now I just smell like mountain fresh BO.
Joanna
Joanna: I have some pretty interesting leads.
Darryl: You just be careful, okay?
Joanna: What do you mean?
Darryl: Sometimes it's probably safer to let sleeping dogs lie.
Penny: You know, I can be at HarvestFest right now. I could be getting drunk, eating pie. But instead, I'm in the woods, with you, knocking on what looks like the door of a serial killer.
Joanna: I know. Isn't it fun?
You don't understand the usefulness of anger. Society tries to force you to swallow it down like a good little girl. Because you are angry, you're a bitch. If you're a bitch, no one will you love. Well, I say, that's nonsense.
Darryl
Roxie: Thanks for coming over, even though we had a stupid fight.
Chad: You know me, I'm like a sexual Batman. You call at four AM, and I come running.
Roxie: You think you're really adorable, don't you?
Darryl: I think you think I'm really adorable.
Roxie: I think you're not as adorable as you think I think you are
Penny: The man that you've had the most pathetic crush on for the last two years finally asks you out and you say, 'No'?
Joanna: Don't call me pathetic.
Penny: I didn't call you pathetic. I said that your crush is pathetic.
I'm really sick of this town, with its dumb, old legends and myths. Witches and water. It just makes us all seem like dumb, gullible hicks.
Kat
I'm starting to think that you're married to that hammock.
Kat
