You're like a trained ape! Without the training!

Simon

Jayne: Listen, Mal, I was in Canton a few years back. I might have made me a few enemies thereabouts.
Simon: Enemies? You? No! How can it be?

Bye now! Have good sex!

Kaylee

Simon: I swear...when it's appropriate
Kaylee: Simon, the whole point of swearin' is that it ain't appropriate.

Saffron, you even think about playin' me again, I will riddle you with holes.

Mal

Wash: Captain, don't you know kissing girls makes you sleepy?
Mal: Sometimes I just can't help myself.

See, Vera? You dress yourself up, then you get taken out somewhere fun.

Jayne

Okay! Everybody NOT talking about sex, in here. Everyone else, elsewhere!

Wash

But she was naked! And all...articulate!

Mal

That's why I never kiss 'em on the mouth.

Jayne

Oh do I wish I was somebody else right now. Somebody not married, not *madly* in love with a beautiful woman who can kill me with her pinky.

Wash

Oh, I'm going to the special hell.

Mal

Firefly Quotes

Mal: You're only going to scare him.
Jayne: Pain is scary.

Mal: I gotta know how close the Alliance is, exactly how much you told them before Wash scrambled your call. So I've given Jayne here the job of finding out.
Jayne: He was non-specific as to how.