Flight of the Conchords Quotes
Murray: I get ridiculed all the time.
Bret: Really?
Murray: Yep. "Ah hey... ginger balls!" you know.
Jermaine: That was Bret... he called you that.
Bret: Oh, the other night?
Murray: Well, it's not just you Bret, it's all the time, and it's not just ginger balls, you know?
Bret: I thought that was your nickname
Murray: No! I get umm... "Oh what are you on your way to a dick meeting?"
Bret: I have 15 dollars.
Mugger: Great, give me that.
Bret: It's in the bank.
Mugger: No! We don't have time to go to the bank.
Jemaine: We might just have time
Mel: You're out? Did the cops try to strip search you?
Jemaine: No.
Mel: Did they find anything?
Jemaine: No, they didn't strip search me.
Mel: Oh, I.. I thought you said they did.
Jemaine: No.
Mel: Oh, well, did any of your cellmates, you know, rape you in the a...
Jemaine: No. No no no.
Mel: Oh good, good. Cause if... if I was a convict, you know, and I was in a cell with a pretty boy like you, I would definitely wait till lights out, put my hand over your mouth--
Jemaine: I've gotta... I've gotta go.
Murray: He may be dead.
Dave: He maybe did what?
Murray: He may be dead.
Dave: I know, but what did he maybe do?
Murray: He may be dead.
Dave: Yeah, maybe he did, maybe he didn't. What did he maybe do?
Bret: No, he may be dead.
Dave: Are you guys fucking with me?
Mugger: What is this? Why does this phone have a camera glued to it?
Bret: It's a camera phone. Jemaine wanted one for his birthday.
Mugger [to other mugger]: Look at this. [To Bret]: Oh yeah? Where'd you get it?
Bret: I made it. It's homemade.
Mugger: Yeah, it's a piece of shit.
Bret: Well, how come Jemaine likes it so much?
Jemaine: You can have it
Jemaine: I can't believe you got that job and I didn't.
Bret: You know, you've got to work on your people skills.
Jemaine: Yeah, shut up, Bret
Eddie: The job is you have to hold up this sign and you have to make sure it points in the right direction. Now, does that sound like something you can do?
Jemaine: Sounds like something a lamppost could do
Bret: What happened with the gig at the aquarium?
Murray: It was kind of a misunderstanding. Um, there was a typo in the ad. It was 'Sand' they wanted. Sand. You know the wavy font, it looks like a 'B' but it was an 'S'. But I sent the demo. The good new is that they liked it, they might play it in the lobby.
Jemaine: Yeah, well, that's positive
Dave: I don't wanna be a dick, but could you guys move away? I'm trying to look lonely.
Jemaine: Lonely? What for?
Dave: Chicks are attracted to lonely guys. It's a psychological analogy.
Bret: What about Eugene?
[Eugene is seen eating alone]
Dave: He knows what he's doing
Jemaine: I think I know where I went wrong last night.
Bret: Yeah?
Jemaine: Yeah, Sally wanted to leave when you turned the light on. I think she found it weird - the whole thing with you there with the - with the light ... on.
Bret: Yeah, I think it might also be because she and I used to go out.
Jemaine: Yeah. It's 'cause you and her used to go out, but also because of the thing with the light. She's thinking, "Oh this is a nice situation." But then, "Ugh, who-- who turned on the light?"
Bret: Yeah. Yeah, maybe. But I think it's mainly because her and I used to go out... for like six months.
Jemaine: Yeah, well -- yeah, it's mainly because you used to go out, but also mainly because of the whole situation with the light.
Bret: Yeah, but the last thing you want to see when you're hooking up is your ex in the same room.
Jemaine: Yeah, and you also don't want to be startled by a light, do you?
Murray: I've told you. When you are in a band, you don't get with your bandmate's girlfriend. Past or present.
Jemaine: Yes, well, thanks for that.
Murray: You get a love triangle, you know, a Fleetwood Mac situation. Although there was four of them, so more of a love square. But you know, no-one gets on.
Jemaine: Ok, I see.
Murray: Mind you, they did make some of their best music back then.
Bret: Rumours
Murray: No. No, it's all true
