Friends Season 1 Episode 1: "The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate" Quotes
Ross: Hi.
Joey: This guy says "hello," I wanna kill myself.
Rachel: Guess what.
Ross: You got a job?
Rachel: Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing!
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Ross: No! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?
Rachel: You are the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
Rachel: Oh! I was hoping it wouldn't be an issue.
Ross: I don't want to be single. Okay? I just want to be married again.
(Rachel enters the coffee shop wearing in a wedding dress)
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars.
Monica: There's nothing to tell. Just some guy I work with.
Joey: Come on. You're going out with the guy. There got to be something wrong with him.
Chandler: Yeah... does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Monica: Come on. You can't live off your parents your whole life.
Rachel: I know that! That's why I was getting married.
Ross: It's Paul the wine guy!
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or he just complains a lot?
Rachel: Daddy! Daddy listen to me! It's like all my life everyone's told me, "You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!" Well, what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat? No I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a hat. It's a metaphor Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Rachel: Anyone want any coffee?
Chandler: Are you just serving it? Or did you make it?
Rachel: I'm just serving it.
All: Yeah, I'll have a cup.
Ross: You probably never knew this but back in high school I had a major crush on you.
Rachel: I knew.
Ross: You probably just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother.
Rachel: I did.
Rachel: So wait, all you guys have jobs?
Monica: Yeah... That's how we buy things.
