Friends Quotes
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.
Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman sobbing at 3 a.m., "I'll never have grandchildren! I'll never have grandchildren!" was what? A wrong number?
(On the phone with her dad) Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait, wait, I said "maybe!"
Rachel
All: (About Rachel trying to cut up her credit cards) Cut, cut, cut, cut.
Rachel: (Cuts up one card) You know what? I think we can leave it at that. It was kind of a symbolic gesture...
Monica: Rachel, that was a library card.
Joey: What are you talking about? "One woman." That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Let me tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Chandler: Then stay out of my freezer.
Ross: Leave my aura alone.
Phoebe: Fine, be murky.
(On the phone) Daddy, I can't marry him, I just don't love him. (Pause) Well it matters to me.
Rachel
All right, kids, I've got to get to work. If I don't input those numbers... Doesn't make much of a difference.
Chandler
Chandler: All right, so I'm back in high school, standing in the middle of the cafeteria and I realize I am totally naked.
Monica: Oh, I've had that dream.
Chandler: Then I look down and I realize there is a phone... there.
Joey: Instead of--
Chandler: That's right.
All: Never had that one.
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
Monica: They weren't looking at you before?
Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it. And it turns out it's my mother. Which is very, very weird because she never calls me.
Monica: Paul, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Paul.
Joey: Hey, Paul, the wine guy.
Ross: Hey, Paul.
Phoebe: Hey, Paul.
Rachel: Hi, Paul.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV. What did you get?
Ross: You guys.
Chandler: Oh God.
Joey: You got screwed.
Monica: Relax, this is not even a date. It's not. It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
