Friends Quotes
Ross: About that bump on his head...
Rachel: Are you sure it's a new bump? I mean, no offense, but I've always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy-headed child.
Chandler: Do you think these pearls are nice?
Joey: I'd really prefer a mountain bike.
Phoebe: (About Ugly Naked Guy) He's alive! He's a-live!
Monica: And yet, we're still poking him.
Joey: Okay, retract the device, retract the device.
Ross: He does not look happy.
Rachel: Hey, now he's showing us his poking device.
Joey: Hey, that's never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy!
Ross: Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours. Some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display.
Joey: What did they do?
Ross: Well, they painted over the word "Sapien" for one thing, then they rearranged the figures. Let's just leave it at that.
Monica: Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.
Ross: What? (To Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?
Joey: Well, I was thinking about that and I, I think the best way would be, to not.
Rachel: Joey, you can't keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
Joey: It'll kill him. I mean it'll, it'll just kill him.
Phoebe: Well, you could wait 'til I go to the dentist, maybe I'll kill him.
Phoebe: Every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies.
Chandler: That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienist's blouse.
Monica: He's not going to say anything because we're not going to tell him.
Rachel: We're not?
Monica: No, we're not.
Rachel: Alright, I like that.
Phoebe: (About her dentist) No thanks, I have a good one, too. I just, I, I can't see him.
Chandler: See that is the problem with invisible dentists.
Monica: Okay, Ben, I won't tell your daddy that you had ice cream for dinner, if you don't tell about our little bonking incident.
Rachel: Monica, number one, I don't think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... (Joey starts laughing) What?!
Joey: You said number two.
Rachel: I also said number one.
Joey: I know. (Laughs harder)
Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didn't kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. It's, it's, it's just ah, a coincidence.
Phoebe: Well tell that to them. Oh! You can't, they're dead.
Delivery Man: You Miss Geller?
Phoebe: Okay.
Delivery Man: Sign here.
Phoebe: Do I have a middle name? (Looks at Joey who makes an "I don't know" face) All right. Monica Felula Geller.
Rachel: (About Ross) He's got this thing and I keep telling him to go to my chiropractor.
Dr. Green: You're still going to that chiropractor? That man couldn't get into med school in Ixtapa.
Ross: Thank you. That's what I keep saying.
Rachel: Excuse me, Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor.
Ross: Uh.
Dr. Green: Wait a minute, his name is Dr. Bobby?
Rachel: Well that's his last name.
Ross: And his first name.
Dr. Green: He's Bobby Bobby?
Rachel: It's Robert Bobby.
Dr. Green: Oh.
Rachel: And, um, excuse me, he helps me.
Ross: Oh ho, please. Ask her how?
Dr. Green: What do you need help for?
Rachel: With my alignment. I've got one leg shorter than the other.
Dr. Green: Oh, my God!
Ross: Argue with that.
Rachel: What? It's true, my right leg is two inches shorter.
Dr. Green: Come on! You're just titling! (To Ross) Her legs are fine!
Ross: I know that!
Dr. Green: So, why do you let her go to a chiropractor for?
Rachel: I'm sorry, let her?
Ross: What can I do, she doesn't listen to me about renter's insurance either.
Dr. Green: Wait a minute, you don't have renter's insurance?!
Rachel: No.
Dr. Green: Well what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?!
