Ross: (About the number of guys Rachel has slept with) Tell me about it. So what, what's your magic number?
Rachel: Uh, no.
Ross: Come on, you know everyone I've been with. All, both of them.
Rachel: Well, there's you.
Ross: Better not be doing these in order.

Phoebe: All right I have to make a speech. I just want to say that of all the guys that Monica has been with, and that is a lot, I like you the best.
Richard: Oh, thank you Pheebs. That's very sweet.
Phoebe: Okay.
Richard: Hear that? She likes me best, and apparently there have been a lot.
Monica: Not a lot, Phoebe's kidding, Phoebe's crazy.
Rachel: Phoebe's dead.

Monica: You know, I was thinking. You know how we always stay at your apartment? Well, I thought maybe tonight we'd stay at my place.
Richard: I don't know, I don't have my jammies.
Monica: Well, maybe you don't need them.
Ross: My baby sister, ladies and gentlemen.

Rachel: (About Joey's Days of Our Lives character) Well, maybe they can find a way to bring you back.
Joey: Nah, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or something.

Phoebe: Hi, um, I just thought that it would be fun if the three of us had some beers and got to know each other.
Eddie: Yeah alright. That sounds alright.
Phoebe: Oh good, okay. Oh no, I have to go because I'm late for my, um, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um, tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun bye.

Monica: Ross, I hated you when we were kids.
Ross: You hated me when we were kids?
Monica: Yes. I hated you. I mean I, I, loved you in a "you're my brother so I have to" kind of way, but basically, yeah, I hated your guts.

(About Baywatch) Well that's the brilliance of it. The pretty people... and the running.


Phoebe: (About the woman who sang "Smelly Cat") I mean this poor woman.
Ross: What woman?
Phoebe: The voice woman. Ya know, I mean, she has a great voice but she doesn't have a video.
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs. But what about you?
Phoebe: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, you know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those animals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.

Rachel: Oh, my God.
Ross: Monica keeps changing the channel.
Monica: Aw, that's great. Why don't you tell Mommy on me?
Rachel: Now, I'm Mommy in this little play? Alright, I refuse to get sucked into this weird little Geller dimension thing, so I'm gonna go and take a nice, long bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy.

(Picks up the orange juice carton and discovers it's empty) Alright, that's it! He just comes in here, Mr. Johnny Neweggs, with his, his, his moving the mail and his, his "see ya, pals!"


Phoebe: (About her edited music video) I... I've never heard myself sing before... except in my own head. This is so cool, now I can hear what you hear!
Rachel: Pretty... uh... different huh?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, but I am really talented!

Chandler: Well you know, we got to talking and, uh, he said he needed a place and I had a spare room.
Joey: Oh, now it's a spare room?
Chandler: Well yeah, in that it's not being used and I... have it to spare.

Friends Season 2 Quotes

Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Monica: (To Julie) It's an expression.

Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!