Futurama Season 2 Episode 7: "A Head in the Polls" Quotes
Farnsworth: The problem with both parties is that they always want to give your tax dollars to the less fortunate.
Fry: The less fortunate get all the breaks!
Leela: The point is, one vote can make a difference and even though it won't, I'm still taking you to get registered.
Farnsworth: Yes, that's a capital idea. Let's all go register!
Fry: Professor, when did you become so obsessed with voting?
Farnsworth: The very instant I became old.
Leela: You're not registered?
Fry: Nope. Not vaccinated either! Besides, it's not like one vote ever made a difference.
Leela: That's not true; the first robot president won by exactly one vote.
Bender: Ah, yes, John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a cord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.
Farnsworth: But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver.
If I were registered to vote, I'd send these clowns a message by staying home on election day and dressing up like a clown.
Fry
Johnson: It's time someone had the courage to stand up and say: "I'm against those things that everybody hates".
Jackson: Now I respect my opponent. I think he's a good man but, quite frankly, I agree with everything he just said!
Fry: These are the candidates? They sound like clones. Wait a minute. They are clones!
Leela: Don't let their identical DNA fool you. They differ on some key issues.
Johnson: I say your three cent titanium tax goes too far.
Jackson: And I say your three cent titanium tax doesn't go too far enough!
Leela: There's a political debate on! Quick, change the channel!
Bender: Hey, that's what Fry said when we turned on the debate!
Morbo: Morbo demands an answer to the following question. If you saw delicious candy in the hands of a small child, would you seize and consume it?
Jack Johnson: Unthinkable.
John Jackson: I wouldn't think of it.
Morbo: What about you, Mr. Nixon? I remind you, you are under a truthoscope.
Nixon: Uh, well ah, the question is, uh, is vague. You don't say what kind of candy, whether anyone is watching, or uh... (AHEM) At any rate, I wouldn't certainly wouldn't harm the child.
(truthoscope goes off noisily)
Bender: So, Nixon, even if you miss your body, being a head's great too, right?
Nixon: No, son. It's a sad and lonely life.
Bender: Aw great. Now you tell me.
Nixon: That's my style. I like to kick 'em when they're down.
George Washington: So telleth, Bender. Whateth happen to your body?
Bender: I hocked it.
George Washington: Hocked it? Why wouldst thou do that?
Bender: Same reason you hocked your teeth.
George Washington: Ahh. Booze money.
Nixon: Now look here, you drugged out communist. I paid for this body, and I'd no sooner return it than I would my little cockerspaniel dog Checkers.
Checkers: Bark.
Nixon: Shut up, damn it!
Hey, I remember you...I was gonna vote for you one time, but voting isn't cool. So I stayed home alone and got trashed on listerine.
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Game's over losers! I have all the money. Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves!
Bender
