Futurama Season 1 Episode 3: "I, Roommate" Quotes
Fry: It's kinda cramped in here. I don't even have room to hang my clothes.
Bender: Look, pal, you've only got one set of clothes and you're not taking them off while I'm here.
Fry: I can't believe they threw me out like that. I must have been really acting like a jerk.
Bender: Yeah, but everybody's a jerk. You, me, this jerk. (points to stranger)
Bender: Cheer up, meatbag. You've barely touched your amoeba.
Fry: It looked good but I just don't feel like eating. You want it?
Bender: Nah, I'm trying to watch my input. I need plenty of wholesome, nutritious alcohol. The chemical energy keeps my fuel cells charged.
Fry: What are the cigars for?
Bender: They make me look cool.
(Fry and Bender are watching All my Circuits)
Fry: So, who's that weird-looking guy?
Bender: That's a human.
Fry: What's he do?
Bender: Eh, the usual human stuff. He laughs, he learns, he loves.
Fry: Boring.
Leela: Fry, sometimes in close quarters, people do inconsiderate things without realising it.
Fry: I know but I forgive you.
Leela: No, Fry, by "close quarters" I mean this office-
Fry: Uh-huh.
Leela: And by "people" I mean you!
Fry: Right.
Leela: And by "inconsiderate" I mean-
Fry: Leela! We're trying to watch TV.
Bender: Yeah. Would you kindly shut your noise hole?
Calculon: I've been processing this for some time, Monique, and, well, will you marry me?
Monique: Oh, Calculon! It fits! Then you must know that I'm-
Calculon: Metric? I've always known. But for you, my darling, I'm willing to convert.
Sheesh! 40,000 channels and only 150 have anything good on.
Fry
Farnsworth: Oh, fuff! He's not causing any trouble. Now, if you don't mind, I'm rather busy. I seem to have mislaid my alien mummy. This sarcophagus should contain the remains of Emperor Nimballa, who ruled Zubin 5 over 29 million years ago.
Fry: Hey, Professor, great jerky!
Farnsworth: My God, this is an outrage! I was going to eat that mummy!
Leela: Do you know how long it's going to take me to recalibrate these engines?
Fry: Hey! When you look this good, you don't have to know anything.
As this shocking graph indicates, our water consumption has tripled in the last month. I notice Fry has been here for a month, so I'm appointing him head of a committee to find who's responsible.
Hermes
Hermes: Fry, mon, if you're going to be living in the office you could at least be on time for work.
Fry: I'm sorry. I was up really late poking through people's desks.
Fry: I give up, what's the catch?
Real Estate Agent: Oh, I assure you, there is no catch. Although we are technically in New Jersey.
(suddenly back at the Planet Express building)
Fry: Man, not even one place remotely liveable.
