Rory: I wish I could figure out a way to get Paris off my back.
Lorelai: Yeah, angry chicks are the worst. When I was in high school I had a Paris.
Rory: Yeah?
Lorelai: Yeah, she was horrible.
Rory: How'd you get rid of her?
Lorelai: I got pregnant and dropped out.

Lorelai: Hey, guys, I have an idea. What about, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, you know, when I go to Hartford for my business class, what if Lane comes along, and you guys can shop and study and join a cult and shave your heads?
Lane: Really?
Lorelai: All except the shaving your heads part.
Lane: Oh, no. What time is it?
Rory: 6:30.
Lane: I'm late for dinner.
Lorelai: Again? Lane, you mother is gonna kill me if I keep sending you home fed and happy.
Lane: I'm sorry. But she found a website that sells tofu in bulk.
Lorelai: Oh, you're kidding, right?
Lane: Yesterday, she went out and bought a bigger fridge.
Lorelai: Boy, now, your life is scary.

Lorelai: She'll be taking the bus.
Emily: I know. I hate that she takes the bus. Drug dealers take the bus.

Elderly Woman: Oh, excuse me, sir. Can you tell me where we can find the best antiques?
Michel: At your house, I'd guess.

Lorelai: Mom, I already bought Rory two skirts.
Emily: What if she gets one dirty?
Lorelai: Then she'll wear the other one.
Emily: What if she gets them both dirty?
Lorelai: Well, then we'll use this newfangled thing called a washing machine. The town just chipped in and bought one. My turn's Tuesday.

Emily: But there are five days in a school week.
Lorelai: Really? Are you sure? Because my days-of-the-week underwear only go to Thursday.

Oh, ladies, what do I see? Naked girls. No, no, keep those leotards on. This is not Brazil.

Patty

Visualize, ladies. It's a Thanksgiving Day Parade. You're standing on Fifth Avenue. There's a hundred beautiful boys marching in place behind you. And there you are. You are out in front with your fabulous legs and your perfect tush. Your baton is on fire, and the crowd goes nuts! Okay, cookie time.

Patty

Lorelai: I had a plan, damn it.
Luke: Me, too. Next time you're getting tea.

Luke: (getting her coffee) Do you want to know what this stuff does to your central nervous system?
Lorelai: Ooh, do you have a chart? 'Cause I love charts.
Luke: Forget it, kill yourself.

Paris: Why are they letting all these extra people in? They just take up space and screw up the curve. We don't need any new kids here.
Louise: Too late.

Lorelai: (speaking to Luke) Wow, you look nice. Really nice.
Luke: I had a meeting earlier at the bank. They like collars. You look nice, too.
Lorelai: I had a flagellation to go to.
Luke: So, what'll you have?
Lorelai: Coffee, in a vat.
Rory: I'll have coffee also. And chili fries.
Luke: That's quite a refined palate you got there.
(Luke walks to the counter)
Lorelai: (to Rory) Behold the healing powers of a bath.

Gilmore Girls Quotes

(about the pants she's bought for Luke) I don't know what this fabric is, but I think I want to have its baby.

Lorelai

(to Rory) You can use your mother's old golf clubs. They're upstairs gathering dust along with the rest of her potential.

Emily