Rory: I can't be late on my first day of school. Do you know what happens to people when they're late on their first day?
Lorelai: It's shorter?
Rory: For the rest of the year, they're labeled "The Late Girl."
Lorelai: How dramatic.

Rory: Yes, but I'm going to be wearing shoes. Nobody's going to see my feet.
Lorelai: Okay, but everybody knows that private school girls are bad. And bad girls always wear red nail polish.

Luke: (getting her coffee) Do you want to know what this stuff does to your central nervous system?
Lorelai: Ooh, do you have a chart? 'Cause I love charts.
Luke: Forget it, kill yourself.

Paris: Why are they letting all these extra people in? They just take up space and screw up the curve. We don't need any new kids here.
Louise: Too late.

Lorelai: I'll see you later.
Emily: Dinner, Friday night. No spurs, please.

Emily: I'm not allowed here, is that it?
Lorelai: I didn't say that.
Emily: I'm allowed to pay for it, but I can't actually set foot on the premises. I just want to get the rules straight.
Lorelai: Oh, boy.
Emily: How about the street? Can I drive down the street?
Lorelai: Forget it.
Emily: Maybe I should just avoid this neighborhood altogether. Though my doctor is just down the block. Maybe I can get special permission if I'm bleeding from the head.

(to Lorelai) Do you need a ride, or is your horse parked outside?


Emily: Oh, yes. We're all old friends.
Lorelai: Well, there's nothing like friends. Especially if they're old ones.

Lorelai: (to Headmaster Charleston's secretary) Hi, I-I'm Lorelai Gilmore. This is my daughter, Lorelai Gilmore, because I named her after me. I was in the hospital, all whacked out on Demerol. Never mind. Um, but we call her Rory. It's short for Lorelai, but she'll answer to either one, or even "hey, you" depending on the Uh, is the headmaster here?
Secretary: One moment. (walks to his office)
Lorelai: (whispering to Rory) See, that's what happens when you go to bed with your makeup on.

(after Ian walks away)
Lorelai: What a nice, nice man.
Rory: You're feeling pretty good about yourself right now, aren't you?
Lorelai: Yeah.
Rory: Do you want me to get you a mirror?
Lorelai: I'm back. Let's go.

Lorelai: So, where do we go?
Rory: Um, the Ambroise building.
Lorelai: Which is?
Rory: The big, scary one.
Lorelai: Mmm, great! Thanks for the input.

Rory: You have to meet the headmaster.
Lorelai: Well, look at me. I can't meet anybody who does anything in there.
Rory: Mom!
Lorelai: No! I look like that chick from The Dukes of Hazzard.

Gilmore Girls Season 1 Episode 2 Quotes

Babette: Is there a problem?
Lorelai: Oh, nothing Shakespeare couldn't turn into a really good play.

(glances at her fuzzy clock) This is the last time I buy anything just because it's furry.